Proverbs 15:18 "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife."
What a great proverb! What a great confrontation and at the same time, what a great comfort!
Strife in our lives over the course of our lifetimes is unfortunately quite inevitable. When we're young and inexperienced, we naturally find strife with our siblings and classmates. As we age, strife becomes more complicated and more painful in the home, on the job, in the neighborhood and even at church. As money becomes more necessary, strife becomes easier. As romance becomes more important, strife becomes more intense. As history starts accruing, strife starts getting more material.
Sadly, strife is a part of life in a cursed world occupied and dominated by sinful souls. When recommending marriage to a particularly vulnerable demographic in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul warned the would-be-marriers that they would have "trouble in the flesh." If the best of human relationships is accompanied by strife, we can expect less intimate and less committed relationships to have strife in them. We see strife between men and women all throughout the Bible and almost from the very beginning. Starting in Genesis 3, we see brothers entertaining strife from Cain and Abel to Jacob and Esau to Joseph and the sons of Jacob to Moses and Aaron to David and Eliab to Absalom and Amnon to the brothers fighting over an inheritance in the Gospels. Starting in Genesis 13, we see strife between neighbors from Abraham's herdmen and Lot's herdmen to Israel and the Egyptians to Israel and the Philistines to Israel and the other Canaanites to Absalom and Joab to Ahab and Naboth. Starting in Genesis 16, we see strife between spouses from Abraham and Sarah to Isaac and Rebekah to Jacob and Rachel to Moses and Zipporah to David and Michal. We even see strife in Scripture between great men of God like Paul and Barnabas, Peter and Paul and multiple times between the 12 Apostles.
While quite inevitable over the course of our lifetimes, strife doesn't need to be a common phenomenon in our lives. This proverb links a particular characteristic to strife that provides the key to both explaining and more importantly, avoiding strife. If a man has a greater amount of strife in his life than the average man, this proverb is blaming him, not the people in his life. If a woman has a greater amount of strife in her home than the average woman, this proverb is blaming her, not the other people in the home. Strife takes two but an angry person is the one in that equation who is primarily responsible for any given strife. Men with short tempers turn simple disagreements into fierce arguments. Women with short fuses turn ignorant oversights into heated tensions. When a person is full of wrath in their soul, they're full of emotional kindling from which a tiny flame of relational error can ignite an inferno of strife. Find a man who always seems to have relational tension at every job with every boss and you've found a wrathful man. Find a woman who always seems to have contentions with friends, in-laws and family members and you've found an angry woman. Find a believer who goes from church to church because they experience strife at every church and you've likely found a believer with an anger problem. Most strife can be traced back to something relatively innocent or simple like a misunderstanding or a poorly chosen word or a bad decision. If a person given to anger is the victim of that poorly chosen statement or oversight, strife will be stirred up. When spouses get angry as a result of being ignored or offended, they stir up strife by dredging up past offenses that they previously claimed to have forgiven. When so-called friends get angry for being ignored or overlooked, they stir up strife by writing or saying nasty things to make a point. We don't have to entertain strife but we will as long as we entertain anger in our hearts.
While this proverb confronts the angry person who typically blames everyone else for their constant contentions, it also comforts us with the solution to strife. It tells us how to avoid the painful presence of strife in our homes, at our jobs, in our neighborhoods and at our churches. If we can control our temper, we can control our contentions. If we can rule our spirit, we can rule our strife. If we can calm our soul, we can calm our disagreements. It's wildly simple but incredibly powerful! In moments where strife could be born, this proverb helps us simplify the complex range of emotions we're feeling. When something inappropriate or ignorant is said, rather than focus on that person's mouth, Solomon is instructing us to focus on our spirit. When someone does something hurtful or offensive, Solomon is telling us to focus on our anger rather than on their actions. In other words, what we do with our anger is the most important factor in whether or not we're going to experience strife. Strife in our lives is up to us! If we can't or won't control the speed at which we get angry, we're going to endure strife on a consistent basis. If we can and do control the speed at which we get angry, we'll rarely experience strife in our lives. It's hard for a person to fight with a person who refuses to fight back. It's hard for a person to scream and yell at a person who only speaks calmly and kindly back.
Everyone gets angry but those who get angry easily and often are the ones who experience the most strife in life. Those who get angry for valid reasons but at the slowest pace are the ones who experience the least amount of strife in life. Strife is not the result of being around contentious people all the time. Strife is not the unfortunate consequence of being treated poorly by everyone all the time. Strife is not the fault of everyone around you. Strife is the direct result of being an angry person and by having a short fuse. People are annoying. People are hurtful. People are selfish. People are ignorant. People are clumsy. If you get angry easily, you will stir up strife with those people and when you do, you're to be blamed. If you don't get angry easily, people will still be annoying, hurtful, selfish, ignorant, clumsy and even cruel BUT you won't have to add the additional pain of strife. Being slow to anger doesn't necessarily make people like you - it just prevents strife. Being slow to wrath won't necessarily make people agree with you, recognize their errors, apologize or even make things right BUT it will appease strife and that in itself will make the sorrow manageable. People are a problem for us in life but the most influential person to our problems is us. How's your temper these days?
Strife in our lives over the course of our lifetimes is unfortunately quite inevitable. When we're young and inexperienced, we naturally find strife with our siblings and classmates. As we age, strife becomes more complicated and more painful in the home, on the job, in the neighborhood and even at church. As money becomes more necessary, strife becomes easier. As romance becomes more important, strife becomes more intense. As history starts accruing, strife starts getting more material.
Sadly, strife is a part of life in a cursed world occupied and dominated by sinful souls. When recommending marriage to a particularly vulnerable demographic in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul warned the would-be-marriers that they would have "trouble in the flesh." If the best of human relationships is accompanied by strife, we can expect less intimate and less committed relationships to have strife in them. We see strife between men and women all throughout the Bible and almost from the very beginning. Starting in Genesis 3, we see brothers entertaining strife from Cain and Abel to Jacob and Esau to Joseph and the sons of Jacob to Moses and Aaron to David and Eliab to Absalom and Amnon to the brothers fighting over an inheritance in the Gospels. Starting in Genesis 13, we see strife between neighbors from Abraham's herdmen and Lot's herdmen to Israel and the Egyptians to Israel and the Philistines to Israel and the other Canaanites to Absalom and Joab to Ahab and Naboth. Starting in Genesis 16, we see strife between spouses from Abraham and Sarah to Isaac and Rebekah to Jacob and Rachel to Moses and Zipporah to David and Michal. We even see strife in Scripture between great men of God like Paul and Barnabas, Peter and Paul and multiple times between the 12 Apostles.
While quite inevitable over the course of our lifetimes, strife doesn't need to be a common phenomenon in our lives. This proverb links a particular characteristic to strife that provides the key to both explaining and more importantly, avoiding strife. If a man has a greater amount of strife in his life than the average man, this proverb is blaming him, not the people in his life. If a woman has a greater amount of strife in her home than the average woman, this proverb is blaming her, not the other people in the home. Strife takes two but an angry person is the one in that equation who is primarily responsible for any given strife. Men with short tempers turn simple disagreements into fierce arguments. Women with short fuses turn ignorant oversights into heated tensions. When a person is full of wrath in their soul, they're full of emotional kindling from which a tiny flame of relational error can ignite an inferno of strife. Find a man who always seems to have relational tension at every job with every boss and you've found a wrathful man. Find a woman who always seems to have contentions with friends, in-laws and family members and you've found an angry woman. Find a believer who goes from church to church because they experience strife at every church and you've likely found a believer with an anger problem. Most strife can be traced back to something relatively innocent or simple like a misunderstanding or a poorly chosen word or a bad decision. If a person given to anger is the victim of that poorly chosen statement or oversight, strife will be stirred up. When spouses get angry as a result of being ignored or offended, they stir up strife by dredging up past offenses that they previously claimed to have forgiven. When so-called friends get angry for being ignored or overlooked, they stir up strife by writing or saying nasty things to make a point. We don't have to entertain strife but we will as long as we entertain anger in our hearts.
While this proverb confronts the angry person who typically blames everyone else for their constant contentions, it also comforts us with the solution to strife. It tells us how to avoid the painful presence of strife in our homes, at our jobs, in our neighborhoods and at our churches. If we can control our temper, we can control our contentions. If we can rule our spirit, we can rule our strife. If we can calm our soul, we can calm our disagreements. It's wildly simple but incredibly powerful! In moments where strife could be born, this proverb helps us simplify the complex range of emotions we're feeling. When something inappropriate or ignorant is said, rather than focus on that person's mouth, Solomon is instructing us to focus on our spirit. When someone does something hurtful or offensive, Solomon is telling us to focus on our anger rather than on their actions. In other words, what we do with our anger is the most important factor in whether or not we're going to experience strife. Strife in our lives is up to us! If we can't or won't control the speed at which we get angry, we're going to endure strife on a consistent basis. If we can and do control the speed at which we get angry, we'll rarely experience strife in our lives. It's hard for a person to fight with a person who refuses to fight back. It's hard for a person to scream and yell at a person who only speaks calmly and kindly back.
Everyone gets angry but those who get angry easily and often are the ones who experience the most strife in life. Those who get angry for valid reasons but at the slowest pace are the ones who experience the least amount of strife in life. Strife is not the result of being around contentious people all the time. Strife is not the unfortunate consequence of being treated poorly by everyone all the time. Strife is not the fault of everyone around you. Strife is the direct result of being an angry person and by having a short fuse. People are annoying. People are hurtful. People are selfish. People are ignorant. People are clumsy. If you get angry easily, you will stir up strife with those people and when you do, you're to be blamed. If you don't get angry easily, people will still be annoying, hurtful, selfish, ignorant, clumsy and even cruel BUT you won't have to add the additional pain of strife. Being slow to anger doesn't necessarily make people like you - it just prevents strife. Being slow to wrath won't necessarily make people agree with you, recognize their errors, apologize or even make things right BUT it will appease strife and that in itself will make the sorrow manageable. People are a problem for us in life but the most influential person to our problems is us. How's your temper these days?
Posted in Proverbs Commentary
Posted in Solomon, Anger, Angry, Wrath, Temper, Short Fuse, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, strife, contention, Tension, argument, Disagreement, relationships, family, friends, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, Paul, Peter, David, Eliab, Moses, Zipporah, Lot, Ahab, Naboth, Cain, Abel, Absalom, Amnon, Jacob, Rachel, Michal, Apostles, Joab, Esau, Aaron, Barnabas
Posted in Solomon, Anger, Angry, Wrath, Temper, Short Fuse, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, strife, contention, Tension, argument, Disagreement, relationships, family, friends, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, Paul, Peter, David, Eliab, Moses, Zipporah, Lot, Ahab, Naboth, Cain, Abel, Absalom, Amnon, Jacob, Rachel, Michal, Apostles, Joab, Esau, Aaron, Barnabas
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