Proverbs 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
Growing up in a polygamous home and leading his own excessively-polygamous lifestyle, Solomon was no stranger to women. He had no shortage of women to observe in their relationships with husbands, children, siblings and even "sister wives." He clearly learned the difference between a wise woman and a foolish woman. When sitting down to write a proverb about this difference, he chose the words "buildeth" and "plucketh" as the best ways to describe this difference. This is one of those proverbs that I wish Solomon would have elaborated on in greater detail or at least, had taken questions from his audience. This short statement packs a powerful punch with numerous applications and implications. Women and young women aspiring to become married or maternal most definitely should heed this proverb. Wives and mothers alike should humbly surrender their lives for scrutiny to Solomon's wisdom. Husbands and fathers should know this proverb well in order to form their prayers for their wives and daughters. Young men seeking a wife in life should consider Solomon's words when choosing a wife.
The difference between wisdom and foolishness in a woman is the difference between a stable home and a broken home. "Every" wise woman builds her home. There are no exceptions to the rule. If your mother has wisdom, your home will be strong. If your wife has wisdom, your home will be stable. If your future wife has wisdom, your future home will be solid. Wisdom in a woman translates to success in a home with zero exceptions. Wisdom in a woman is priceless. When a relational creature blessed by God with relational intuition, social insight and maternal instincts gets heavenly wisdom, that home will be blessed with certain strength. When it comes to the home, the combination of wisdom and a woman is like the glorious combination of peanut butter and chocolate. Wisdom in a woman is to the home what protein in a diet is to the bodybuilder. The virtue of wisdom in a woman is far more valuable to a home than the skill of cooking. It is far more important than the gift of decorating. It is much more impactful than a culture of cleanliness. A woman's wisdom blesses and builds a home in a way that a woman's income never could. Wisdom is the principal thing in life, in marriage, in motherhood and in a home; therefore ladies, get wisdom.
The emphasis in this proverb seems to be more on the latter part of the proverb. The second half of the proverb offers a more dramatic image designed to get our attention. Compared to "plucking down a home with her hands," building a home seems boring. Because "building a home" is expected for a woman, "plucking it down with her hands" sounds terrible. For these reasons, it has our attention as intended by the proverb's author. Because wisdom is so critical for the lady of the home, Solomon teaches it by emphasizing the destruction its absence brings. A foolish woman is not condemned for not building her home because she does do some building. She'd have to build something to have something to pluck down. With her natural God-given intuition and instincts, a foolish woman still builds something in raising her little children and owning her home. According to the man who watched hundreds of wives in his homes, a foolish woman is not necessarily a lazy woman or an unkind woman. According to the man who observed and studied hundreds of mothers, a foolish woman is not necessarily a dirty mother or an abusive woman. A foolish woman could be great with infants and great with finances. A foolish woman could be great with cleaning and great with decorating. A foolish woman could be extraordinary with income and fantastic with friends. A foolish woman could be highly educated and well-liked on social media. According to the wisest man that ever lived, a foolish woman is a wife or mother who tragically "plucks down," or who pulls her established house down to the ground.
What woman would intentionally sabotage her home?
What relational creature would intentionally ruin her marriage?
What mother equipped with a maternal nature would intentionally destroy her relationship with her precious children?
Why would any woman pull down that which means so much to her?
The answer to those questions is precisely the point of this proverb. Because of a woman's heart for the home, it is never her desire to hurt her home. Because of a woman's desire for her husband and love for her children, she never wants to ruin her home. Foolishness in a woman is the culprit for any destruction she brings to her home. By definition, a foolish woman doesn't know what she is doing is harmful. A relational but foolish wife doesn't know what she is DOING (hence, the reference to her "hands") is breaking down everything she initially did to build her marriage. A maternal but foolish mother doesn't realize that what she is DOING is pulling down everything she initially did to build her family. This is what makes foolishness so dangerous in a woman - she thinks she is DOING the right thing when she is doing the opposite. A foolish woman is convinced her particular actions towards her husband and children are necessary when in reality, they're very unnecessary and ultimately, destructive.
Foolish women, because they're naturally more relational than men, think they're wise and always smarter than their husbands. Foolish women, because they're naturally better with children than men, think they're wise and superior to their husbands. Foolish women, because they're naturally gifted with intuition, think they're wise and know best. The natural gifts of a woman are indeed gifts but those gender-specific gifts are not to be confused with wisdom. The type of wisdom this proverb speaks of is the wisdom that comes from above, not from within or from below. Foolish women are foolish because they think they're wise and will hear nothing from their husbands or from anyone. This stubborn mindset that "mother knows best" always and eventually results in the breakdown of the home. It first starts with the husband and then as the children age, it continues with them. Foolishness hides a woman's destructive deeds from her own eyes. Foolishness makes destruction look like everyone else's fault. Foolishness blames declining or ruined relationships on the husband or the children.
Because of the Divinely-chosen language used in this proverb ("plucketh"), I can't help but think of the popular game, JENGA. The game starts by building a tower of wood blocks and then each player takes turns pulling one block out from the tower until someone pulls a block that results in the tower collapsing. A foolish player would pull a block out of the bottom of the tower or he would pull a block out near where the other player already pulled one out. To avoid losing the game, you have to know what blocks can be removed and what blocks can't be removed. Such is the case in marriage - you have to know what things you CAN DO and what things you CAN’T DO so as to not cause the marriage you've built to not collapse. Such is also the case in parenthood - you have to know what things you CAN DO and what things you CAN’T DO so as to not cause the relationship with your children to break down. Foolish women pull blocks out from their home that they're convinced need to be pulled out, and in their foolishness, don't even recognize that their house is falling down around them as a result.
Ladies, get wisdom - the wisdom that comes from God and not just from your mothers; the wisdom that exceeds relational and maternal instincts. You need to know in real time and at each stage of life the things you can't afford to do if you want to keep enjoying the home you built. Wisdom will tell you that if you pull out the block of your daughter's worth, you'll destroy your relationship with her. Wisdom will teach you that if you pull out the block of your son's dignity, you'll ruin your relationship with him. Wisdom will warn you that if you pull out the block of your husband's respect, you'll severely weaken your marriage. The home is incredibly fragile and delicate. It takes a ton of wisdom to know what to do and what not to do to keep the peace with each and every family member. Without wisdom, a wife will do things that will undermine her husband's leadership and in so doing, pull a foundational block out of the tower of her home. Without wisdom, a mother will do things that will stunt a child's development and in so doing, pull a foundational block out of the tower of her home. A mother doesn't always know best but a mother who knows that God always knows best is wise.
An incredibly committed and wildly loving mother can still be very foolish. A sincerely devoted and heavily invested wife can still be very foolish. The overwhelming majority of women who ruin their homes do so with very good intentions. Because these women rely on their own intuitions, instincts and insights rather than on true wisdom, they think they're doing what's best and right for their homes despite the constant warning from their husbands and children. Wisdom restrains a woman's natural impulse to address and fix every problem her relational and maternal eyes see. Wisdom prevents a woman from pulling out certain relational blocks that could collapse her home. Very good intentions can create very bad relationships when not bathed in wisdom.
The difference between wisdom and foolishness in a woman is the difference between a stable home and a broken home. "Every" wise woman builds her home. There are no exceptions to the rule. If your mother has wisdom, your home will be strong. If your wife has wisdom, your home will be stable. If your future wife has wisdom, your future home will be solid. Wisdom in a woman translates to success in a home with zero exceptions. Wisdom in a woman is priceless. When a relational creature blessed by God with relational intuition, social insight and maternal instincts gets heavenly wisdom, that home will be blessed with certain strength. When it comes to the home, the combination of wisdom and a woman is like the glorious combination of peanut butter and chocolate. Wisdom in a woman is to the home what protein in a diet is to the bodybuilder. The virtue of wisdom in a woman is far more valuable to a home than the skill of cooking. It is far more important than the gift of decorating. It is much more impactful than a culture of cleanliness. A woman's wisdom blesses and builds a home in a way that a woman's income never could. Wisdom is the principal thing in life, in marriage, in motherhood and in a home; therefore ladies, get wisdom.
The emphasis in this proverb seems to be more on the latter part of the proverb. The second half of the proverb offers a more dramatic image designed to get our attention. Compared to "plucking down a home with her hands," building a home seems boring. Because "building a home" is expected for a woman, "plucking it down with her hands" sounds terrible. For these reasons, it has our attention as intended by the proverb's author. Because wisdom is so critical for the lady of the home, Solomon teaches it by emphasizing the destruction its absence brings. A foolish woman is not condemned for not building her home because she does do some building. She'd have to build something to have something to pluck down. With her natural God-given intuition and instincts, a foolish woman still builds something in raising her little children and owning her home. According to the man who watched hundreds of wives in his homes, a foolish woman is not necessarily a lazy woman or an unkind woman. According to the man who observed and studied hundreds of mothers, a foolish woman is not necessarily a dirty mother or an abusive woman. A foolish woman could be great with infants and great with finances. A foolish woman could be great with cleaning and great with decorating. A foolish woman could be extraordinary with income and fantastic with friends. A foolish woman could be highly educated and well-liked on social media. According to the wisest man that ever lived, a foolish woman is a wife or mother who tragically "plucks down," or who pulls her established house down to the ground.
What woman would intentionally sabotage her home?
What relational creature would intentionally ruin her marriage?
What mother equipped with a maternal nature would intentionally destroy her relationship with her precious children?
Why would any woman pull down that which means so much to her?
The answer to those questions is precisely the point of this proverb. Because of a woman's heart for the home, it is never her desire to hurt her home. Because of a woman's desire for her husband and love for her children, she never wants to ruin her home. Foolishness in a woman is the culprit for any destruction she brings to her home. By definition, a foolish woman doesn't know what she is doing is harmful. A relational but foolish wife doesn't know what she is DOING (hence, the reference to her "hands") is breaking down everything she initially did to build her marriage. A maternal but foolish mother doesn't realize that what she is DOING is pulling down everything she initially did to build her family. This is what makes foolishness so dangerous in a woman - she thinks she is DOING the right thing when she is doing the opposite. A foolish woman is convinced her particular actions towards her husband and children are necessary when in reality, they're very unnecessary and ultimately, destructive.
Foolish women, because they're naturally more relational than men, think they're wise and always smarter than their husbands. Foolish women, because they're naturally better with children than men, think they're wise and superior to their husbands. Foolish women, because they're naturally gifted with intuition, think they're wise and know best. The natural gifts of a woman are indeed gifts but those gender-specific gifts are not to be confused with wisdom. The type of wisdom this proverb speaks of is the wisdom that comes from above, not from within or from below. Foolish women are foolish because they think they're wise and will hear nothing from their husbands or from anyone. This stubborn mindset that "mother knows best" always and eventually results in the breakdown of the home. It first starts with the husband and then as the children age, it continues with them. Foolishness hides a woman's destructive deeds from her own eyes. Foolishness makes destruction look like everyone else's fault. Foolishness blames declining or ruined relationships on the husband or the children.
Because of the Divinely-chosen language used in this proverb ("plucketh"), I can't help but think of the popular game, JENGA. The game starts by building a tower of wood blocks and then each player takes turns pulling one block out from the tower until someone pulls a block that results in the tower collapsing. A foolish player would pull a block out of the bottom of the tower or he would pull a block out near where the other player already pulled one out. To avoid losing the game, you have to know what blocks can be removed and what blocks can't be removed. Such is the case in marriage - you have to know what things you CAN DO and what things you CAN’T DO so as to not cause the marriage you've built to not collapse. Such is also the case in parenthood - you have to know what things you CAN DO and what things you CAN’T DO so as to not cause the relationship with your children to break down. Foolish women pull blocks out from their home that they're convinced need to be pulled out, and in their foolishness, don't even recognize that their house is falling down around them as a result.
Ladies, get wisdom - the wisdom that comes from God and not just from your mothers; the wisdom that exceeds relational and maternal instincts. You need to know in real time and at each stage of life the things you can't afford to do if you want to keep enjoying the home you built. Wisdom will tell you that if you pull out the block of your daughter's worth, you'll destroy your relationship with her. Wisdom will teach you that if you pull out the block of your son's dignity, you'll ruin your relationship with him. Wisdom will warn you that if you pull out the block of your husband's respect, you'll severely weaken your marriage. The home is incredibly fragile and delicate. It takes a ton of wisdom to know what to do and what not to do to keep the peace with each and every family member. Without wisdom, a wife will do things that will undermine her husband's leadership and in so doing, pull a foundational block out of the tower of her home. Without wisdom, a mother will do things that will stunt a child's development and in so doing, pull a foundational block out of the tower of her home. A mother doesn't always know best but a mother who knows that God always knows best is wise.
An incredibly committed and wildly loving mother can still be very foolish. A sincerely devoted and heavily invested wife can still be very foolish. The overwhelming majority of women who ruin their homes do so with very good intentions. Because these women rely on their own intuitions, instincts and insights rather than on true wisdom, they think they're doing what's best and right for their homes despite the constant warning from their husbands and children. Wisdom restrains a woman's natural impulse to address and fix every problem her relational and maternal eyes see. Wisdom prevents a woman from pulling out certain relational blocks that could collapse her home. Very good intentions can create very bad relationships when not bathed in wisdom.
Posted in Proverbs Commentary
Posted in Solomon, Women, woman, wife, mother, House, home, Motherhood, parenthood, career, Cleaning, Cooking, children, marriage, Jenga, wisdom, foolishness, fool
Posted in Solomon, Women, woman, wife, mother, House, home, Motherhood, parenthood, career, Cleaning, Cooking, children, marriage, Jenga, wisdom, foolishness, fool
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