Proverbs 13:24

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

As is the case with its preceding proverbs, this one offers very specific subject matter that should obviously not be disregarded but nor should it distract from the deeper revelation.  Parents, especially young ones should take special heed to this proverb but non-parents and older parents should also take heed for deeper reasons.  No matter Scripture's target audience, it always speaks truth about something somehow to someone.  In Solomon's case, parents were his target audience but parents and non-parents alike made up his general audience.  This proverb provides insight with child-rearing for parents and more importantly, it provides insight with virtue for everyone.

For those with younger children, this proverb teaches the need for early and consistent discipline.  When Scripture speaks of the "rod," it speaks of the correction an authority of any sort is responsible to provide.  Jesus Christ, when spoken of as the King of kings in Scripture, is described as "ruling the nations with a rod of iron" (Ps. 2:9; Rev. 2:27; 12:5; 19:15).  The Good Shepherd of Psalm 23 is described as possessing a staff and a rod, both of which provide comfort in the dark valley of the shadow of death (verse 4).  There is a difference between the shepherd's two instruments with the staff being used for direction and the rod being used for correction.  This parental rod represents a parent's responsibility to correct his or her child.  Parents should take heed to the wisdom of Solomon in correcting their children "betimes," or early on.  There is a severe contrast between the parent who corrects their child early in childhood and the parent who delays in correcting their child.  A child who receives appropriate correction early in life is a much different and a much better person than a child who doesn't receive that same type of timely correction.
 
Regarding the subject matter of this proverb, wisdom tells us that the longer we wait to correct misbehavior, disobedience or bad habits in our children, the harder it will be for them to make appropriate changes.  This is true for nearly every other area in our world.  The longer we wait to attack cancer in the body, the harder it is to control it.  The longer we wait to clean the carpet, the harder it is to get it clean again.  The longer we wait to learn a new language, the harder it is to master a foreign tongue.  Old habits die hard.  Old dogs don't learn or do new tricks.  The longer a parent waits to correct a child, the harder it will be for that child to be corrected.  This is why Solomon assigns hatred to a parent who willingly chooses to spare the rod and withhold correction from a child.  When it comes to disciplinary responsibilities, a lazy parent is an inconsiderate parent.  A parent who spares the rod is a careless parent.  Whether because of a lack of courage or a lack of diligence, a parent who doesn't correct his or her little child is setting that child up for failure.  Knowingly withholding the correction necessary to help a child more easily get on the right track in a long life is cruel.  Solidifying bad behavior and cementing poor manners in a child by refusing to make that child uncomfortable through some form of discipline is incredibly unkind.

This relational subject matter leads us to point out a deeper truth and one that extends beyond parenthood.  This deeper truth has to do with the relational nature of virtue.  For Solomon to declare an irresponsible parent a hateful parent and a disciplinary parent a loving parent, he is exposing the influence virtue has on other virtues.  Whether you're a parent or not, THINK ABOUT THE LINK.  One virtue leads to another virtue and the lack of virtue leads to another lack of virtue.  Virtue is very social.  It is extremely relational.  Virtues breed other virtues.  They mingle, meet and attract a gathering of virtue.  If a parent possesses the real virtue of love, not a worldly self-serving love, he or she will attract and invite the virtues of diligence and strength.  Godly love in a father's soul will motivate him to get off the couch and correct his young daughter.  True love in a mother's heart will help bring the courage and strength necessary to disappoint her beloved son when correcting him.  On the flip-side, the absence of virtue will lead to an absence of other virtue for rarely will virtue survive alone.  An absence of true love in a parent's soul will lead to an absence of diligence and courage.  Laziness in a father will eventually make a father loveless.  If a mother can't bring herself to correct her child, she'll eventually realize that she doesn't love her child nearly as much as she loves herself.  There is a link on either side of every virtue that is intended for companionship.  Virtue is like a train car that is designed to be accompanied on the tracks of life.  Without additional virtues being linked to initial virtue in our lives, we will lack the moral weight necessary to provide sustainable spiritual momentum.  Without virtue being linked to other virtue, we'll stop easier and faster in life where we often disconnect what little virtue we have and get back on the tracks of life without it.
 
Peter expressed this virtuous relational truth best in his second epistle when he wrote, "and beside this, giving all diligence, ADD to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (1:5-8).  The more virtue we add, or link to the virtue we possess, the more spiritual momentum we enjoy.  The less virtue we link to the little virtue we possess, the less likely we'll possess any virtue in short time.  Virtue is relational and is best sustained by virtue on either side of it. Find a parent without the virtue of diligence and you'll sense a parent without the virtue of true sacrificial love.  Find a man without the virtue of humility and eventually, you'll sense a man without kindness.  Once a man disconnects the virtue of kindness, soon he'll disconnect the virtue of patience.  Virtue gets lonely and when it gets lonely, it gets heavy to pull down the tracks of life.  Once a virtue feels alone, its wheels get harder to turn and before long, a lack of one virtue leads to an absence of most, if not all virtue.

This proverb has much to say about the relationship between parent and child but it has more to say about the relationship between virtue and virtue.  Love leads to diligence.  Diligence leads to temperance.  Temperance leads to discernment.  Discernment leads to patience.  The lack of virtue leads to a reduction of virtue.  The lack of diligence leads to a lack of love.  The lack of love leads to a lack of kindness.  The lack of kindness leads to a lack of humility.  The lack of humility leads to a lack of discretion.  This proverb teaches parents not to delay discipline and it teaches everyone not to take the lack of any virtue lightly.  There are severe long-term consequences to both.

Think about the Link.