Proverbs 12:8

Proverbs 12:8 "A man shall be commended according to his wisdom: but he that is of a perverse heart shall be despised."
Proverbs 12:8 Baptist Church Buffalo NY
Whether a person admits it or not, everyone wants to be commended.  As soon as a child can recognize praise, he seeks it.  Cute little voices of “Look at me Daddy!” and “Watch this Mommy!” echo throughout the halls of homes all over our world.  This is especially evident when a parent or grandparent applauses one child and the other child cries out, “What about me!?”  Unfortunately, this yearning for commendation continues into adulthood.  Wives and mothers seek appreciation for their contributions to the home from both husband and children and when it’s not given, there is great disappointment.  Husbands and fathers seek praise for their hard work from both wife and children and when it is absent, there is often great anger.  The human spirit feeds on affirmation and when it doesn’t get it, it can easily be deflated.  Workers leave companies for lack of commendation.  Players leave teams for lack of appreciation.  Ministers leave churches for lack of recognition.  Friends leave relationships for lack of acclamation.

It is both appropriate and helpful to get in the habit of commending people.  Later in the Book of Proverbs, Solomon would write, “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips” (27:2).  While Scripture clearly teaches in this proverb and in many other places that we shouldn’t seek commendation, it recognizes that praise is a part of the human social system.  All people desire it; many give it; some deserve it.  In this eighth proverb in the twelfth chapter, Solomon would have his readers understand the basis for praise, or the CALCULATOR for COMMENDATION.  It’s not what we naturally think it is.  Most people think commendation is based on performance when in reality, it’s based on personality.  Most people think commendation it’s based on contribution when it’s based on character.
True commendation is more than just a clap of the hands - it’s praise for one person to another person.  In fact, there is no greater praise than the praise given to another on your behalf.  True commendation is giving praise to another person when they’re not even around to hear it because it eliminates the temptation to praise a person in order to benefit from that person.  The word, “commend,” is a transfer or commitment of something to someone.  On the cross, Jesus cried to God, “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46).  To the Romans, Paul wrote, “I commend unto you Phebe our sister” (Romans 16:1).  Scripture speaks of this word in the context of praise this way with Sarah in Genesis 12:15, “The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh.”   This is where we get the word, “RE-COMMEND.”  True commendation is more than face-to-face affirmation; it’s publicly-communicated praise for another person. It’s one thing to applause the contractor for building your house but it’s an entirely different thing to suggest him to a friend as a potential husband.  Commendation has to do with character.  This is why Solomon tells us that commendation is based on our wisdom, not on our works.

This proverb is not what life should be like – it is what life is.  This proverb isn’t suggesting the ideal basis for commendation – it is telling us what people base their commendation on.  Men, have you noticed that women rarely commend you for working hard on the job site, for fixing the home or for repairing the vehicle?  Ladies, have you noticed that men rarely commend you for taking such good care of the home or for working outside the home?  We don’t calculate commendation by works – we calculate commendation by wisdom.  Ladies boast on their husbands if they are wise, which is evident in HOW they act, not just in WHAT they do for a living or for the household.  Men boast on their wives if they are wise, which is manifested in HOW they treat people, not just in WHAT they do in or out of the home.
A man shall be commended according to his wisdom and not according to his works.
A woman shall be commended according to her wisdom and not according to her works.
A boy shall be commended according to his wisdom and not according to his works.
A girl shall be commended according to her wisdom and not according to her works.
The most beloved people in human history are not those who have made the greatest contributions to farming, building, inventing, discovering and entertaining.  The most beloved people in human history are those who behaved themselves wisely because those are the people who knew how to work with others and because they knew how to make things work with others.  There is a substantial difference between being the most decorated and being the most commendable.  Having the most Super Bowl Rings, Emmies, Grammies or votes rarely transfers to being the most commendable.  Time and time again, these perceived praise-worthy people prove to be the least likable and the least commendable.  Abuse, neglect, corruption and perversion steal all the praise from a decorated champion.  At the end of the day, we don’t commend a man according to his accomplishments – we commend a man according to his character.  At the end of a life, we don’t commend a woman according to his achievements – we commend a woman according to her virtue.  A man with a perverted heart will be despised, no matter what he accomplished.  A woman with a perverted heart will be loathed, no matter what she achieved.

On an incredibly practical level, this proverb has the power to change lives and relationships.  To the husband who is bitter that his wife never seems to appreciate how hard he works to bring home the bacon, Solomon tells you to stop blaming your wife for your bitterness.  If you were wise in how you manage your time, you would give much of it to your God, wife and family.  If you were wise in how you manage your money, you would give much of it to your God, wife and family.  If you were wise, you would have answers for life’s problems, direction for life’s challenges and the skills to lead your home.  A man is commended according to his wisdom, not according to his resume or to his wages.  Your wife would commend you to others if she saw more wisdom in you.  To the wife who resents her husband for not recognizing her sacrifices within and without the home, Solomon tells you to consider the Calculator for Commendation.  There is no wisdom in treating immediate family members poorly.  There is no wisdom in constantly criticizing extended family members.  There is no wisdom in putting your children before your husband.  A woman is commended according to her wisdom, not according to her works or to her sacrifices.  To the son or daughter who is angry with your mom or dad for not applauding you for taking out the garbage or for not doing drugs, Solomon tells you to understand what it is that makes a child commendable – it is character.  If you obey your parents grudgingly or if you obey your parents slowly, there is nothing for them to commend.  A child is commended according to his wisdom, not according to his accomplishments.  The same Biblical fact applies to a career, to a ministry and to a relationship.

This proverb teaches us that we Calculate Commendation by what is in the heart.  If there is a lot of wisdom in the heart, there will be a high level of commendation for that person.  If there is a little wisdom in the heart, there will be a low level of commendation for that person.  If there is no wisdom in the heart, society will eventually despise that soul.  No wisdom in the heart makes room for perversion in the heart, which always hurts people.  If you want people to commend and recommend you, get wisdom.  Frankly, if you want people to like you, get wisdom.  Wisdom alone makes a person commendable.





Rehoboam Solomon fear of God health pride self-sufficiency wisdom 1 Corinthians 1 John 2020 5th Commandment Aaron Abel Abigail Abortion Abraham Absalom Accident Accomplishment Achan Acts 17 Acts Adam & Eve Adam Adolescence Adolf Hitler Adulterer Adulteress Aesop's Fable Aesop\'s Fable Aesop\\\'s Fable Affair Age Ahijah Ahithophel Albany Alcoholism Alive Ally Alone Amazon Ambition American America Amnon Andrew Finch Animal Abuse Animals Answered Prayer Applause Apple of Eye Approval Arrogance Arthritis Asaph Ashamed Athletes Athletics Backbone Back Balaam Balance Bank Accounts Bathsheba Beauty Bedroom Beecher Behavior Benefit Benjamin BestBuy Bethlehem Bezaleel Bible reading Bible teacher Bible-reading Bible Biblical instruction Big Mouths Big Picture Bin Laden Birth Blog Boasting Bonar Bondage Boomerang Boyfriend Brutal Brutish Budget Buffalo Bills Building CA Rt 1 Cable News Calamity Call of Duty Calming Calvin Canaan Cancer Candidates Careers Cares of Life Casey Viner Character Cheesecake Factory Christian upbringing Christ Churches Circumspect Clamor Clinton Clothes Clothing Coaches College Commend Communication Companionship Conceit Conception Condemnation of God Confession Confidentiality Conflict Conservation Contrast Conversation Conviction Corinthians Corrupt Cosigner Cosigning Cosign Countenance Courting Coworkers Creation Creator Creatures Crime Criminals Crooked Cruel Curiosity Currency Danger Daniel Data Dating Daughters David Days Death Deceit Deceptive Delilah Democracy Democratic Desires Desire Deuteronomy Devil Diligent Diploma Discovery Diseases Disease Dishonesty Dishonor Dislikes Divorce Domestic Violence Doorhanger Dreams Dress Drink Drug lords Drunk Driver Drunk Early Adulthood Ears Eastern Culture Ecclesiastes Economic Stability Eden Elderly Elihu Elijah Eliphaz Emerson Emmies Employers Encouragement Engagement Enoch Ephesians Ephraimites Esau Esther Eternity Evening Eve Evolution Excellence Excel Exodus Expectations Expectation Experience FaceBook Face Faithful False Fame Families Famine Farming Fashion Favor of God Fear of the Lord Fearing God Feast of Purim Financial Advisor Financial Security Fingers Food Foolish Football Free-will Freedom Friendships Friendship Friend Froward Fruit Fumble GPS Gadarenes Galatians 6:7 Galatians Gamble Gang Garden of Eden Garden of Gethsemane Garden Gender Differences Genesis Gideon Gileadites Girlfriend Girls Giving Glad Goals God's Kingdom God\'s Kingdom Godhead Goliath Goodness Gossip Graciousness Grammies Grandchildren Gratitude Grave Grief Guide Guilt Culture Gun Control Gun Violence Guns Gutters Hagar Haman Hamlet Hannah Hard Work Hard-Working Harlot Hate Evil Hatred Head Healthcare Healthy Hearing Heaven Heaviness Heavy Heart Hebrews Helicopters Hell Herod Highway History Hollywood Holy Spirit Home Depot Homeowner Homes Homicide Honesty House Humble Humility Hunting Hypocrisy Hypocrites Ian Brady Illness Immorality Independence Industrious Inherit Insecurity Insight Instagram Instructing Integrity Internet Interview Intoxication Inventions Isaac Israel Jacob Jairus James Jealousy Jeffrey Dahmer Jeremiah Jeroboam Jerusalem Jesus Christ Jesus Jewish Law Jewish Jimmy Soul Jobs Job John the Apostle John Jonah Joseph Joshua Josiah Joy Judah Judaism Judas Iscariot Judges Judging Judgmental Jury Justice System Kindness King David King Hezekiah Kings King Know-it-all Language Law Enforcement Law Leaders Learn Liars Liar Lies Life Lesson Likes Lion Loan Longevity Look Looting Lori Loughlin Loss of Health Loss of LIfe Loss Lottery Love Triangle Lowliness Luke 7 Luke Luther Lying MLB Magazines Majority Maker Makeup Maniac Manna Mansion Maple Trees Mark Martyrs Martyr Marvel Mary Matthew Media Memories Mentors Men Merciful Merriness Mike Tyson Mindset Ministers Mob Mocker Mocking Monarchy Monopoly Month Moody Morality Mordecai Morning Moses Mouths Murder NBA NFL NHL Natural Disaster Naughtiness Nebuchadnezzar Negative Nehemiah New Tricks News Anchors Noah Nobles Numbers O.J. Simpson Obama Observation Obtain Old Dogs Olive Garden Order Others Paint Parenting Passion Pastors Paul the Apostle Paul Perspective Perverse Perversion Peter Pharisees Pharoah Philippians Physical Appearance Plant Pleasure Politicians Politics Polygamy Poor Popularity Portrait Positive Possessions Potiphar's Wife Potiphar\'s Wife Potiphar\\\'s Wife Potiphar\\\\\\\'s Wife Praise Prate Prating Preacher Pregnancy Pregnant Preparation Princes Prince Principal Thing Principal Procrastinate Procrastinator Profit Prophecy Prophet Prosperity Gospel Prostitute Protests Proverbs Proverb Psalm 21 Psalm 35 Psalm 37 Psalms 37 Psalms Psalm Punishment Pure Purity Purpose QVC Questions Rachel Rage Ransom Rebekkah Red Lobster Reels Rehoboam Rehoboma Relationship Religion Remember Repentance Reporter Reprove Republican Reputation Research Responsibilities Resume Resurrection Retirement Revealing Revelation Reward Rich & Famous Rich Man Rich Ridicule Righteouness Right Riot Road Romania Romans 8:28 Romans Rulers Ruler Rules Sabbath Sadness Samson Samuel Sarah Satan Satisfaction Satisfy Saul Saving Scale Scam Science Scientist Scoffer Scripture Sea of Galilee Seasons Secrets Seduce Seed Seek Self-Confidence Selfies Selfishness Servitude Sexual Chaos Sexual Confusion Shakespeare Shame Culture Shame Shane Gaskill Shenandoah Valley Shoe Laces Siblings Sickness Silence Simon Peter Simon Slothful Social Media Social Society Solomon Song of Solomon Sons Sorrow Source Speaking Speak Speech Spies Spiritual Security Sporting Sports Sport Spouses Stanley Cup Steal Stephen Stock Market Strange Woman Strangers Stratego Strength Stress Super Bowl Rings Surely Surety Swatting Sweat Talebearer Talkative Talking Tamar Taylor Teachers Teaching Teenagers Teens Tendency Texas Roadhouse Theft Theocracy Tik Tok Timothy Tithes To be or not to be Toddlers Tolerance Tomb Tongue Tour Guide Travel Treasure Treatment Tribute Trickery Trinity Trips Trouble True Love True Wisdom True Turner Tyler Barriss Uber Eats Understanding Unforgiveness Unhealthy Universities Unjust Unrighteous Uprightness Upright Vain Value Vanity Vehicle Vengeance Videos Virtuous Vision Votes Voting Walk Walmart Washington Watsom Way of Life Way Weight Western Culture Winking Wink Wise Men Witnessing Womb Women Work Ethic Worth Wrong X Yankees YouTube Zechariah addiction adultery advertisements advertiser advertising advice advisor affection affirmation aggression alcohol amos angels anointing ant anxiety appetite argument assumption as attractions authority background backyard bankrupt battle beginning birds bitterness blessed brain bright broken nose buckler campfire cardinal sins career carelessness car cause certainty charity chastening childhood childrearing children child choices church attendance church command confidence confident consequences considerate contention contentment conversaion correction counselor counsel covetousness criticism cruelty cynicism dads dad darkness dark daughter debt deception decisions defend defense demands destruction determination diamonds diligence direction disappointment discernment discipleship disciples disciple discipline discontentment discord discretion distractions distress doctrine dogs drinking drugs dying ear education effort emotions employee employer employment enemies enticement enticing envy equity evil communications evil men evil women evil example eyelids eyes ezekiel facts failure fairness faith family fathers father favor fear of God fear of man fear feelings feminine fighting fight filthy finances fire flattery focus following foolishness foolishnes fools fool forgiveness fornication friends future gambling gangs gender gold good men good government grace greed guard guilt happiness happy harm hate headlights health heart hear hold your peace holiness home honor hope hunger husbands husband ignorance illustration income inequality infidelity influence iniquity insomnia instincts instruction intimacy investigation investing isaiah issued issue jabs jewelry judgment justice just kidnapper kidney kids knowledge labor law of sowing and reaping laziness lazy leadership learning legacy length of days lessons let life light lips listening listen little liver living loans loneliness long life longterm love lucifer lust man marketing marriage math memorization memory mercy messenger millions mind ministry mischief misery loves company misery mistakes mom money mothers mother motive mouth movies nature necklace neck neighbor obscenity observant oil oppression oppressor organs ornaments parable paranoia parenthood parents parent pastoring path peace peculiarity peer pressure peers peer permission personification pleasant politician ponder pornography pottymouth poverty power prayer preservation pride priests private procrastination prodigal profanity prosperity prostitution protection protect prudence public restroom purchases reading reaping reason rebellion rebuke regret rejection relate relationships relevant remedy remembrance remorse repetition replacement reproof respect responsibility responsible retain retention riches righteousness righteous risk robber romance rubies safety sailor salvation schools scorner secret security seduction seeing see self-sufficiency self-sufficient serpent seven deadly sins seven sexist sexual sin sex short-term silver simple simplicity sinners sin skepticism slander sleeplessness sleep slothfulness sluggard smoke to the eyes smoke son soul sowing spleen spouse stability stranger strange strife striving successful success suicide surgeon sword talents talk taxes teacher television temptation tendencies thief thieves thinking think thoughtfulness thoughts thought threats time tithe tree of life trust truth tv vehicles vice video games vinegar to the teeth vinegar violence violent virtue virtuous woman visual voice of God voice vulgar walking war wealth well wickedness wicked wife will wine wisdom wise sayings wise wives woman word of God words workplace work worry young man young people young youth