Proverbs 14:3

Proverbs 14:3 "In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them."

When God designed mankind, he gave us powerful parts.  Think about it – we have two hands with ten fingers that can all move independently.  For that reason, we can do a lot with our hands from writing life-changing messages to grabbing great inventions to performing brain surgery to tickling the ivories on a piano.  With those hands, we have the power the save lives as well as to take lives.  God also designed us with two feet with ten toes that also can all move independently.  We can do a lot with our feet from walking great distances to jumping over dangerous challenges to operating big machinery.  With the kick, stomp or push of a little foot, we wield great power.  Of all the parts God designed us with, the tongue may pack the most power.  James likened the tongue to a ship’s rudder, marveling that such a little body part can have that much more of an impact than the rest of the body.  He described the tongue this way saying, “the tongue is a WORLD of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the WHOLE body, and setteth on fire the course of nature” (James 3:6).
 
It shouldn’t surprise anyone familiar with Scripture why God designed the tongue to possess such power.  Of all of God’s body parts, it is His Holy tongue that wields the most power.  When God created the heaven and the earth, He did so with His tongue.  On each of the six days of Creation, it was God’s tongue that brought everything into existence with each starting with, “God said.”  When naming His only begotten Son, Who would be the Agent of Creation, the Father named Him, “The Word.”  David dedicated the twenty-ninth Psalm to the strength of God’s voice, saying, “the voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.”  Both Ezekiel and John heard the voice of God and described it as the rushing sound of ocean waves or as noise of a mighty waterfall.  Paul likened God’s word unto a sharp two-edged sword and told the Hebrews that “the word of the Lord is quick and powerful” (Hebrews 4:12).
 
Since we were made in the image of God, it shouldn’t surprise us then that God packed substantial power into our tongues.  Just as God’s word can penetrate the human heart, so too can our words penetrate human hearts.  Solomon’s choice of imagery in describing the mouth of the foolish possessing a rod is consistent with Isaiah’s words when describing the justified vengeance that the Messiah would bring at His coming.  The prophet wrote, “He shall smite the earth with the ROD of His MOUTH, and with the breath of His LIPS shall He slay the wicked” (Isaiah 11:4).  Because we were made in the image of God, our tongues can act as rods.  Our words can hurt.  Our words can cause sharp pain and deep scars.  Our words can destroy spirits, relationships and lives.  With one foolish statement, a father can set a son on an angry course of self-destruction.  The five simple words, “you’ll never amount to anything” can do irreversible damage.  With one ill-advised statement, a mother can rob a daughter of a life of purpose and meaning.  The four simple words, “you were a mistake” possess the power to psychologically ravish a girl for a lifetime.   The hard truth is this – sticks and stones that bruise the bones heal much quicker and easier than names that always hurt us.
 
Solomon isn’t suggesting that the wise don’t have a powerful tongue nor is he suggesting that their words can’t or won’t hurt anyone.  Because his words were inspired, they would never contradict the fact that God’s words and God’s Son’s words can and even will justly hurt people.  The tongues of both the foolish and the wise possess equal amounts of power.  The difference between the two tongues is not the power; it’s the NATURE.  The tongue of the foolish is savagely proud.  It only thinks about speaking words that make its host feel good about himself.  It can’t refrain from saying things that make its host feel right about what he thinks.  The tongue of the foolish is a tongue of pride because it can’t sit still or be quiet when its host is being attacked, ridiculed, criticized or even ignored.  The foolish, by definition, lack the wisdom to know that criticism doesn’t need to be responded to if it’s unjust and unfair.  They lack the wisdom to know that criticism just needs to be accepted quietly if it’s just and fair.  They lack the wisdom to perform a relational cost analysis before speaking.  Fools don’t realize that everything we’re thinking about ourselves isn’t always right.  They don’t realize that everything someone is saying about us or to us isn’t always right either.  Fools engage the tongue as fast as they engage their mind.  Fools speak as soon as they think and because they always think about themselves, they always speak about themselves.  When someone is always speaking about themselves in defense of themselves, someone always gets hurt.  

The wise have lips that are governed by discretion and understanding.  They don’t permit the power of the tongue to impact the outside world unless the relational cost analysis comes back favorable.  The lips of the wise are heavy with patience and discernment, which means they don’t open easily or quickly.  A wise husband knows how impactful his words are to his children and especially to his wife who is desperate for his love.  He thinks every word through very carefully knowing how much weight they carry in the ears of his thoughtful wife.  He knows how easily his good words can be taken the wrong way and he knows how much damage his bad words can cause.  A wise wife, knowing that her husband craves respect, guards the doors of her mouth from the power of her tongue.  “In her tongue is the law of kindness.”  She knows that if she allows pride to penetrate her tongue, it will have a painful impact on her husband and her marriage.  The power of the tongue exists in every relationship.  Find a relational bruise and the forensics will prove that the cause of that wound was the tongue of pride.  

We so easily underestimate the power of our words.  Gracious words on paper in or in person can heal people and restore relationships.  Proud words in text or on the phone can ruin people and destroy relationships.  The wise learn this lesson and think before they speak, focusing on eliminating pride for the wise know that “only by pride cometh contention” (Prov. 13:10).  The lips of the wise preserve them because they don’t hurt people with their words and as a result, don’t create unnecessary enemies.  Fools, however, don’t think before they speak, or better said, “don’t think before they BEAT.”  Wisdom always asks this question before it opens the gates of the mouth, “Am I speaking to BE right or am I speaking to DO right?”  She knows so well the power of the tongue and the damage it can inflict on people.
 
Fools post self-exalting words online and eventually, someone gets hurt.
Fools text self-serving jabs and eventually, someone gets bruised.
Fools write self-comforting objections and eventually, relationships get ruined.
Fools say self-defending but others-condemning statements and yes, hearts get broke.

The lips of the wise keep the power of the tongue restrained by weighting those lips down with humility, discretion, understanding, patience and charity.  Get wisdom and THINK BEFORE YOU BEAT.