Proverbs 11:13

Proverbs 11:13 "A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter."
Proverbs 11:13 Christian Church Buffalo NY
Speech is one of the most common topics of Solomon’s proverbs.  Words relating to speech such as mouth, tongue, lying, lips, talebearer and others occur well over two hundred times in the Book of Proverbs.  The topic occurs so often in Solomon’s writings because he was wise enough to know that nothing is more revealing than our speech.  What we say reveals who we are.  When we speak, we reveal more than what we know.  When we speak, we reveal what we are.  What we tell people tells them what is in our brain and more importantly, what is in our heart.

When God created us, He didn’t give us the ability to see the spiritual state of a person.  Only God can see the heart of man.  But that doesn’t mean God deprived us of the ability to discern the spiritual state of a person.  We may not be able to see the spirit of man instantly as God can but we can discover the spirit of man over time by listening to a person’s words.  A Listening ear over the course of time always discerns a liar.  Given enough time, a listening ear will eventually discern a proud or a vain person.  If we listen carefully, we’ll know if a person is sincere or insincere.

Solomon understood the Revelation of Conversation.  Centuries before Jesus Christ taught on the relationship between the heart and the mouth, Solomon understood that, “a good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:45).  Centuries before James wrote about the tongue, Solomon understood that “the tongue can no man tame.” (James 3:8).  We can discern what a person’s political beliefs are based on what they say.  We can discern what a person’s true feelings about their spouse or about another person based on what they say.  We can peer into a person’s soul simply by listening.  The best way to learn about a person is to get them talking.  The best way to discover a person’s character is by getting them talking.  This is why reporters, documenters and authors want access to the people they are covering – they want to ask them questions and get them talking.  This is why criminal investigators want unlimited access to persons of interest so they can get them talking and as a result, discern guilt or innocence.

When it comes to finding friends, allies, employees or spouses, listen carefully to what prospects say.  Listen carefully over time and most importantly, listen carefully during adversity.  A pot completely filled with water is a perfectly safe pot when it’s at room temperature.  Add some heat to that same pot and it will eventually become a dangerous pan as boiling hot water will bubble and shoot all over the place.  Anyone can keep a secret when they are in love with someone.  But it takes a true friend to keep a secret when the person they love hurts them.  A talebearer reveals secrets about the people he or she no longer likes.  What we say reveals who we are and more specifically, what we say when we get hurt most clearly reveals who we truly are.  

If you meet a person who readily and happily reveals damaging secrets about a person they once loved, they are revealing the type of person they are.   They will do the same to you when you hurt them or when you don’t give them what they want.  On the contrary, if you meet a person who doesn’t reveal damaging secrets about a person who hurt them, he or she is revealing a faithful spirit.  It takes tremendous restraint and holy character to conceal damaging secrets about people who hurt us.  A faithful spirit is revealed by kind words and by eternal confidentiality towards people who no longer love or want us.
 
Everyone needs a friend and a counselor to confide in with life’s hurdles.  Before you share secrets with anyone, be sure to discern their spirit.  If you entrust a talebearer with your secrets, you will live to regret it.  Find someone who possess a faithful spirit where your secrets will remain safe.  Don’t choose your confidants by what you see or by what you want.  Choose your confidants by what you hear and more specifically, by what you learn through their words.  How do they speak about the person who no longer talks to them?  How do they speak about the person that no longer works with them?  What do they say when adversity strikes one of their relationships? 

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